I recently came across this article,
One interesting thing is that I have seen several articles in recent months (both by Christians and by non-Christians) which sort of blast women for not "wanting" to get married younger. These authors argue against this problem: that women are determined to climb the ladder of success, dating around until they are professionally established, having the dim notion that once they reach the top of their field, they will then decide that it is time to get married to the world's most perfect man, who has just been sitting around waiting for her, and have a family right then. OK, yes, that does sound rather silly.
But this is not the problem with me or with the girls that I know. From my point of view, the women in my social sphere would love to get married if only the right opportunity would come along.
I am genuinely curious: what do people think that single women are supposed to be doing? They are getting blamed for being single because they have jobs. Maybe they have those jobs because they are single. (?)
Does having a job prevent a woman from ever becoming a homemaker? True, there are some women who are too career-focused to shift that focus to having a family. But what can the others do to avoid appearing like that is their focus?
This article seems to come closer to being helpful than some things I have seen, but I'm not sure that it comes to any strong conclusions. Any thoughts?
5 comments:
Hi Lean,
I've read this article some time ago, and it did raise interesting thoughts.
For example, about having a job. I'm graduating from college right now, and I truly have no choice but to have a job. If I had a father who would be ready to support me, I'd love to be under his authority and protection until I get married, but it so happens that I have no father. Therefore I must work until such time as God sees fit to send me a husband. Might happen tomorrow, or in ten years, or never.
But I know I'll drop whatever job I might have to take care of my husband, home and children. This is the only thing I pray for. Getting married someday. Being a homemaker. My mother never got married. I try to be brave, but my biggest fear is that I never get married either. Therefore, as you can imagine, I'm not exactly picky. Just looking for basic good qualities: a man who is kind and supportive, a man who is ready to be a man.
Oh my. I think I should quit rambling before I turn into mush.
Hi Anna,
Don't turn into mush. :) I know how you feel. What is a single girl supposed to do if she *has* to get a job so that she can do stuff like eat, live, etc.
There is so much advice out there, but it is hard to be criticized for working when there is no other choice out there. (by the way, I do love my job, but feel that we are called to be keepers at home.) It must be easy for these writers to advise women to just get married instead of having a career, but it's not like a girl can just decide to get married one day. It is strange how much of this advice is directed toward the women, even though it is not for us to initiate.
Now I'm a bit less tired and can think more coherently :)
I do believe that if we have a job in our single years, it should be something we like, and it's wonderful if it's something where we can serve and help others. Why should our precious time be wasted on something we don't like?
However, there's a thin line between liking my job and getting a career mentality. I try to be careful and avoid being so immersed in my studies (and later, job) that it would actually make me self-centered, or take my focus off my real dream, my biggest dream - getting married and starting a family.
So, while I have to work, I do want to have a job that makes me feel good about myself. But I want to be able to give it up easily whenever an opportunity comes to be a wife and a full-time homemaker.
Well said. I agree.
Wow. I should be used to it by now, I think: people always have an opinion on us singles. It still surprises me every time, though.
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