Showing posts with label femininity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label femininity. Show all posts

Friday, June 1

Article about singleness

Hello all,

I recently came across this article, Seven Myths Single Women Believe. As a single woman, I found it interesting. People surely do like to give us advice! Which advice are we supposed to listen to?

One interesting thing is that I have seen several articles in recent months (both by Christians and by non-Christians) which sort of blast women for not "wanting" to get married younger. These authors argue against this problem: that women are determined to climb the ladder of success, dating around until they are professionally established, having the dim notion that once they reach the top of their field, they will then decide that it is time to get married to the world's most perfect man, who has just been sitting around waiting for her, and have a family right then. OK, yes, that does sound rather silly.

But this is not the problem with me or with the girls that I know. From my point of view, the women in my social sphere would love to get married if only the right opportunity would come along.

I am genuinely curious: what do people think that single women are supposed to be doing? They are getting blamed for being single because they have jobs. Maybe they have those jobs because they are single. (?)

Does having a job prevent a woman from ever becoming a homemaker? True, there are some women who are too career-focused to shift that focus to having a family. But what can the others do to avoid appearing like that is their focus?

This article seems to come closer to being helpful than some things I have seen, but I'm not sure that it comes to any strong conclusions. Any thoughts?

Wednesday, February 14

The modesty survey is available



The modesty survey results are in. Let's go see what the men have to say! I haven't looked at it yet, but I'm about to. Let me know what you think.

Tuesday, January 23

Homemaking Meme

Here is a meme (what does that stand for, and how do you pronounce it??) that I got from Emma's blog.

Aprons – Yes or No? If Yes, what does your favorite look like?
Yes! I have two that I like to wear. I used to wear the one that I made in high school home ec, but now I wear the one that I wore when I was a server at a restaurant. It is really durable and has great pockets.

Baking – Favorite thing to bake
Cookies or turtle brownies.


Clothesline – Yes or No?
No; we use a dryer.


Doughnuts – Have you ever made them?
No, but I sure could go for a fresh, hot Krispy Kreme right now!

Every day – One homemaking thing you do every day
I try to keep my desk at work neat.


Freezer – Do you have a separate deep freezer?
No; that is a dream of mine. Someday I would love to have one.


Garbage Disposal – Yes or No?
Yes

Handbook – What is your favorite homemaking resource?
the Betty Crocker cookbook


Ironing – Love it or hate it? Or hate it but love the results?
I don't mind it. I like making everything look crisp and fresh. I wish things would stay that way!

Junk drawer – Yes or No? Where is it?
Yes: one in the kitchen, a couple in my bedroom filled with memorabilia that I just can't get rid of yet.

Love – What is your favorite part of homemaking?
I'll let you know when I get to do it consistently. :) I really love cooking, though.

Mop – Yes or No?
Yes

Oven – Do you use the window or open the oven to check?
Well, we have a cheap oven with no window. So I must peek. :)


Pizza – What do you put on yours?
At a normal pizza place, cheese and pepperoni. I also like spinach.


Quiet – What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?
I never get a quiet moment during the day because I am at work! :) But aside from that, I like to read or just space out :) If I get a quiet moment at work, I get ready for my next responsibility. That way I don't have to do that on the weekend or in the evenings.


Recipe card box – Yes or No? What does it look like?
I type them up in a document on the computer. It is incredibly convenient b/c I can easily make copies or print out a recipe when I want to use it. Then I put it in a sheet protector on the counter. If it's one I use a lot, I keep it in a notebook as well.


Style of house – What style is your house?
Traditional brick. Very traditional inside and out. Pretty!


Tablecloths and napkins – Yes or No?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on the season and what we have that goes with that season. Usually, we just use placemats -- our table is pretty on its own.


Under the kitchen sink – Organized or toxic wasteland?
Pretty good right now.


Vacuum – How many times per week?
Per week, are you serious?


Wash – How many loads of laundry do you do per week?
One or two.


X’s – Do you keep a daily list of things to do that you cross off?
I frequently do.


Zzz’s – What is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?
Hang up whatever I was wearing :)

Friday, January 19

The Rebelution Modesty Survey



This is really neat -- you should check this out!

Alex and Brett Harris (little brothers of Joshua Harris who wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye) have a web site, the Rebelution. On their web site, they have made the best modesty survey that I have ever seen. They are trying to get 1,000 Christian guys to answer this survey so that we ladies can know how guys really feel about the way that we dress and present ourselves. Only guys can answer the survey, but girls can read the questions. Now that I have read the questions, I am extremely curious to find out what the answers are!

They will post the results of the survey when 1,000 men take the survey. So far, it is going really well for them; but if any of you know men who would like to help their Christian sisters out, send them to this link.

I was amazed to see some of the questions that are being asked. I have always considered myself an extremely modest dresser, but I have never even thought of some of the things that the survey is asking about! It will be very valuable to see what the answers turn out to be.

Sunday, January 14

Just like in the books we love

Some time ago, I came across the neatest catalog, the Victorian Trading Company. It is full of beautiful things that look just like they came out of a Jane Austen novel or from the turn of the century. (The time period is a little broader than just the Victorian era.) The catalog will make you feel like you are in a different century -- they sell clothes, cookbooks, home decorations, toys, whatever you can think of from those times gone by.

It is so much fun to look through! I love the visual reminder of all the elegance that used to be expected. Back then, women were LADIES and were proud to be feminine. Looking through this catalog inspires me to try recapturing some of that refinement in my own life.

The one problem is that a great deal of these items are quite expensive. I have never actually bought anything from this catalog (I just dream about it) because I don't feel that I can afford it. But sometime, I think it would be fun to buy a few select items and use them to dress everything else up.

They do have some exquisite clothing. Most of it would probably look a little unusual if you just wore it around like normal clothes, (they would make great costumes, though, if you could afford it) but some of their things would be a really neat addition to the wardrobe. Although I'm not sure why, but some of their dresses do not seem to abide by the Victorian standards of modesty. I wish that that part were a little more authentic. But much of their clothing really is beautiful.

I can only imagine how much a little girl would love growing up with some of these things around the house! What a dream! I see these items as a lesson in the true history of women -- women who were not oppressed or stifled by their femininity, but rather women who gloried in it.

You can request a free catalog on their web site (which also has some other fun activities such as some charming Victorian e-cards). I guarantee that when you look through your catalog, you will be delighted to see things that before you only read about. :)

Thursday, December 21

The Gift of the Magi by O Henry

I hope you enjoy this sweet, classic Christmas story. It's one of my favorites!

One dollar and eighty-seven cents. That was all. And sixty cents of it was in pennies. Pennies saved one and two at a time by bulldozing the grocer and the vegetable man and the butcher until one's cheeks burned with the silent imputation of parsimony that such close dealing implied. Three times Della counted it. One dollar and eighty- seven cents. And the next day would be Christmas.

There was clearly nothing to do but flop down on the shabby little couch and howl. So Della did it. Which instigates the moral reflection that life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating.

While the mistress of the home is gradually subsiding from the first stage to the second, take a look at the home. A furnished flat at $8 per week. It did not exactly beggar description, but it certainly had that word on the lookout for the mendicancy squad.

In the vestibule below was a letter-box into which no letter would go, and an electric button from which no mortal finger could coax a ring. Also appertaining thereunto was a card bearing the name "Mr. James Dillingham Young."

The "Dillingham" had been flung to the breeze during a former period of prosperity when its possessor was being paid $30 per week. Now, when the income was shrunk to $20, though, they were thinking seriously of contracting to a modest and unassuming D. But whenever Mr. James Dillingham Young came home and reached his flat above he was called "Jim" and greatly hugged by Mrs. James Dillingham Young, already introduced to you as Della. Which is all very good.

Della finished her cry and attended to her cheeks with the powder rag. She stood by the window and looked out dully at a gray cat walking a gray fence in a gray backyard. Tomorrow would be Christmas Day, and she had only $1.87 with which to buy Jim a present. She had been saving every penny she could for months, with this result. Twenty dollars a week doesn't go far. Expenses had been greater than she had calculated. They always are. Only $1.87 to buy a present for Jim. Her Jim. Many a happy hour she had spent planning for something nice for him. Something fine and rare and sterling--something just a little bit near to being worthy of the honor of being owned by Jim.

There was a pier-glass between the windows of the room. Perhaps you have seen a pierglass in an $8 flat. A very thin and very agile person may, by observing his reflection in a rapid sequence of longitudinal strips, obtain a fairly accurate conception of his looks. Della, being slender, had mastered the art.

Suddenly she whirled from the window and stood before the glass. her eyes were shining brilliantly, but her face had lost its color within twenty seconds. Rapidly she pulled down her hair and let it fall to its full length.

Now, there were two possessions of the James Dillingham Youngs in which they both took a mighty pride. One was Jim's gold watch that had been his father's and his grandfather's. The other was Della's hair. Had the queen of Sheba lived in the flat across the airshaft, Della would have let her hair hang out the window some day to dry just to depreciate Her Majesty's jewels and gifts. Had King Solomon been the janitor, with all his treasures piled up in the basement, Jim would have pulled out his watch every time he passed, just to see him pluck at his beard from envy.

So now Della's beautiful hair fell about her rippling and shining like a cascade of brown waters. It reached below her knee and made itself almost a garment for her. And then she did it up again nervously and quickly. Once she faltered for a minute and stood still while a tear or two splashed on the worn red carpet.

On went her old brown jacket; on went her old brown hat. With a whirl of skirts and with the brilliant sparkle still in her eyes, she fluttered out the door and down the stairs to the street.

Where she stopped the sign read: "Mne. Sofronie. Hair Goods of All Kinds." One flight up Della ran, and collected herself, panting. Madame, large, too white, chilly, hardly looked the "Sofronie."

"Will you buy my hair?" asked Della.

"I buy hair," said Madame. "Take yer hat off and let's have a sight at the looks of it."

Down rippled the brown cascade.

"Twenty dollars," said Madame, lifting the mass with a practised hand.

"Give it to me quick," said Della.

Oh, and the next two hours tripped by on rosy wings. Forget the hashed metaphor. She was ransacking the stores for Jim's present.

She found it at last. It surely had been made for Jim and no one else. There was no other like it in any of the stores, and she had turned all of them inside out. It was a platinum fob chain simple and chaste in design, properly proclaiming its value by substance alone and not by meretricious ornamentation--as all good things should do. It was even worthy of The Watch. As soon as she saw it she knew that it must be Jim's. It was like him. Quietness and value--the description applied to both. Twenty-one dollars they took from her for it, and she hurried home with the 87 cents. With that chain on his watch Jim might be properly anxious about the time in any company. Grand as the watch was, he sometimes looked at it on the sly on account of the old leather strap that he used in place of a chain.

When Della reached home her intoxication gave way a little to prudence and reason. She got out her curling irons and lighted the gas and went to work repairing the ravages made by generosity added to love. Which is always a tremendous task, dear friends--a mammoth task.

Within forty minutes her head was covered with tiny, close-lying curls that made her look wonderfully like a truant schoolboy. She looked at her reflection in the mirror long, carefully, and critically.

"If Jim doesn't kill me," she said to herself, "before he takes a second look at me, he'll say I look like a Coney Island chorus girl. But what could I do--oh! what could I do with a dollar and eighty- seven cents?"

At 7 o'clock the coffee was made and the frying-pan was on the back of the stove hot and ready to cook the chops.

Jim was never late. Della doubled the fob chain in her hand and sat on the corner of the table near the door that he always entered. Then she heard his step on the stair away down on the first flight, and she turned white for just a moment. She had a habit for saying little silent prayer about the simplest everyday things, and now she whispered: "Please God, make him think I am still pretty."

The door opened and Jim stepped in and closed it. He looked thin and very serious. Poor fellow, he was only twenty-two--and to be burdened with a family! He needed a new overcoat and he was without gloves.

Jim stopped inside the door, as immovable as a setter at the scent of quail. His eyes were fixed upon Della, and there was an expression in them that she could not read, and it terrified her. It was not anger, nor surprise, nor disapproval, nor horror, nor any of the sentiments that she had been prepared for. He simply stared at her fixedly with that peculiar expression on his face.

Della wriggled off the table and went for him.

"Jim, darling," she cried, "don't look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold because I couldn't have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. It'll grow out again--you won't mind, will you? I just had to do it. My hair grows awfully fast. Say `Merry Christmas!' Jim, and let's be happy. You don't know what a nice-- what a beautiful, nice gift I've got for you."

"You've cut off your hair?" asked Jim, laboriously, as if he had not arrived at that patent fact yet even after the hardest mental labor.

"Cut it off and sold it," said Della. "Don't you like me just as well, anyhow? I'm me without my hair, ain't I?"

Jim looked about the room curiously.

"You say your hair is gone?" he said, with an air almost of idiocy.

"You needn't look for it," said Della. "It's sold, I tell you--sold and gone, too. It's Christmas Eve, boy. Be good to me, for it went for you. Maybe the hairs of my head were numbered," she went on with sudden serious sweetness, "but nobody could ever count my love for you. Shall I put the chops on, Jim?"

Out of his trance Jim seemed quickly to wake. He enfolded his Della. For ten seconds let us regard with discreet scrutiny some inconsequential object in the other direction. Eight dollars a week or a million a year--what is the difference? A mathematician or a wit would give you the wrong answer. The magi brought valuable gifts, but that was not among them. This dark assertion will be illuminated later on.

Jim drew a package from his overcoat pocket and threw it upon the table.

"Don't make any mistake, Dell," he said, "about me. I don't think there's anything in the way of a haircut or a shave or a shampoo that could make me like my girl any less. But if you'll unwrap that package you may see why you had me going a while at first."

White fingers and nimble tore at the string and paper. And then an ecstatic scream of joy; and then, alas! a quick feminine change to hysterical tears and wails, necessitating the immediate employment of all the comforting powers of the lord of the flat.

For there lay The Combs--the set of combs, side and back, that Della had worshipped long in a Broadway window. Beautiful combs, pure tortoise shell, with jewelled rims--just the shade to wear in the beautiful vanished hair. They were expensive combs, she knew, and her heart had simply craved and yearned over them without the least hope of possession. And now, they were hers, but the tresses that should have adorned the coveted adornments were gone.

But she hugged them to her bosom, and at length she was able to look up with dim eyes and a smile and say: "My hair grows so fast, Jim!"

And them Della leaped up like a little singed cat and cried, "Oh, oh!"

Jim had not yet seen his beautiful present. She held it out to him eagerly upon her open palm. The dull precious metal seemed to flash with a reflection of her bright and ardent spirit.

"Isn't it a dandy, Jim? I hunted all over town to find it. You'll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it."

Instead of obeying, Jim tumbled down on the couch and put his hands under the back of his head and smiled.

"Dell," said he, "let's put our Christmas presents away and keep 'em a while. They're too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money to buy your combs. And now suppose you put the chops on."

The magi, as you know, were wise men--wonderfully wise men--who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. O all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the magi.

Thursday, November 9

An inspiration to be a lady

On Sunday after church, Mom and I were invited to lunch at the home of a single lady from our church. She has done such a beautiful job with her little house! I think that she has excellent taste. Her home is just gorgeous!

I was so impressed by what a sharp lady she is. Even though she has never married, (which is sad, because some man is really missing out!) she has applied herself to homemaking and ladylike things. Everything in her house makes it quite evident that a lady lives there. Everything was beautifully arranged, and each item that she has was carefully chosen. She has a lovely collection of quilts and needlework projects that she has made. The beauty of her house is obviously the result of a ton of hard work. She also prepared an outstanding meal and was quite hospitable in every way.

It was a great example to me that she, an unmarried woman, had still created a ladylike, God-honoring home in which to receive guests and minister to us by practicing godly hospitality. I sometimes think that it would be nice to join "the club" of women who have the opportunity to do all of those things that women like to do. I feel that my heart is in those areas but that I am unable to do much because I am unmarried. And in one way, I cannot deny that this is at least partially true: because I must work full time, obviously some things have got to go.

But I need to be faithful with the opportunities that I do have. This lady has truly honored the Lord with her femininity and her obvious lack of laziness. It was a great reminder to me to take every possible opportunity and use it to its fullest potential. It is exciting to be a lady serving her Lord!

Saturday, August 26

A favorite poem

This is "Verses Upon the Burning of Our House," by the American Puritan author Anne Bradstreet. It is one of my favorites: her strong faith in God rather than in her possessions is a great example.

In silent night when rest I took
For sorrow near I did not look
I wakened was with thund’ring noise
And piteous shrieks of dreadful voice.
That fearful sound of “Fire!” and “Fire”
Let no man know is my desire.
I, starting up, the light did spy,
And to my God my heart did cry
To strengthen me in my distress
And not to leave me succorless.
Then, coming out, beheld a space
The flame consume my dwelling place.
And when I could no longer look,
I blest His name that gave and took,
That laid my goods now in the dust.
Yea, so it was, and so ‘twas just.
It was His own, it was not mine,
Far be it that I should repine;
He might of all justly bereft
But yet sufficient for us left.
When by the ruins oft I past
My sorrowing eyes aside did cast,
And here and there the places spy
Where oft I sat and long did lie:
Here stood that trunk, and there that chest,
There lay that store I counted best.
My pleasant things in ashes lie,
And them behold no more shall I.
Under thy roof no guest shall sit,
Nor at thy table eat a bit.
No pleasant tale shall e’er be told,
Nor things recounted done of old.
No candle e’er shall shine in thee,
Nor bridegroom’s voice e’er heard shall be.
In silence ever shall thou lie,
Adieu, Adieu, all’s vanity.
Then straight I ‘gin my heart to chide,
And did thy wealth on earth abide?
Didst fix thy hope on mold’ring dust?
The arm of flesh didst make thy trust?
Raise up thy thoughts above the sky
That dunghill mists away may fly.
Thou hast an house on high erect,
Framed by that mighty Architect,
With glory richly furnished,
Stands permanent though this be fled.
It’s purchased and paid for too
By Him who hath enough to do.
A price so vast as is unknown
Yet by His gift is made thine own;
There’s wealth enough, I need no more,
Farewell, my pelf, farewell my store.
The world no longer let me love,
My hope and treasure lies above.